My wife threatened to divorce me if I ever farted in the bed again?

The only thing that's scary about that is even when you're in the bathroom. You should be comfortable but keeping it in the bathroom is a fair compromise. There is no way she isn't letting it go too. There's no way. You may have to talk about it, and ask where and when she does it. If you do it where she does it, will it then be okay? Don't let her get away with saying she doesn't. It's not medically possible. If she seriously wants a divorce even when you keep it in the bathroom then it she may be she's medically depressed no matter what and needs help. It may be that a relationship isn't a good idea for her with ANYONE. You might have married the wrong woman. Everyone pes gas. We can be polite about it though. Good luck with that:)